Playoffs.....Playoffs

Read the title in Jim Mora voice and then picture Ian saying it.  Cause that is what he is doing.  This post is not about the King of the Retards Ian and his band of consolation nerds.  This is about playoffs and luck.  My luck actually.  It is most likely going to be that I scored the least points of winners and some of the losers may beat me.  Unless my Dolphin defenders and Lamar Miller score a butt ton of points and make me look awesome and in retrospect make this intro rather confusing.  That's why I included a joke about Ian, because everyone loves kicking a man when he is down, or when it is Ian, I assume I would also get the same treatment.  Onto the match-ups.

#1 Jovan Belcher's Pistol Offense Vs. #8 Eli's Moutbreathers

Eli Manning needs to fumble/throw interceptions at the least 6 times and Holden wins.  Barring an extreme point change by Yahoo! and there shitty fantasy football service Holden's season comes to a very similar end.  Since unlike ESPN I cannot look at past years of this league, I know Andy Dalton...I mean Holden flounders in the playoffs regularly.  Guess who's fault it is...Ian Smith, still losing in the actual playoffs even though he missed him.  If you read last week you saw a player that could have helped Ian multiple times this season.  His name...

The Crow

 Isaiah Crowell.  Ian dropped him and guy I don't know picked him up (at some time) and he threw up 27.9 points against a projected 8.39.  You played everyone correctly Holden, you have one person to blame...Ian.

#4 Fingerblastin' W/JPP Vs. #5 Watt'SUP

Figures after shit talking Harry for the majority of the year he would get screwed over by scoring higher than all the losers and most likely two winners.  Good year Harry, you have deserved me no longer making jokes about Sidney Rice.  As far as my points adversary Kreuz, I want you to be defeated.  (Lose rhymed there and sounded odd)  Unfortunately you have by far the best offense in the league.  Here is to Drew Brees playing away games hopefully.

#3 The Other White Meat Vs. #6 Pooty's New Virginity

I called this one well, in a way.  So, I said Pat would beat you cause your WR's suck well luckily I was right about the WR's and dear lord they are bad.  My worst WR outscored all 3 of yours, who are you Liz.  How did you limp into these playoffs with this set of three WR's.  Calvin Johnson I am guessing will be added to your list of players you hate along with Jamaal Charles and Amari Cooper against Denver must have just run routes for the fuck of it.  The other guy, I am not sure he is real.  You need multiple defensive TD's along with fumbles from Lamar Miller and every other Miami defender dying.

#2 Suck a Ditka Vs. #7 Duster McThunderstick

I guess this one is not technically over.  Pat needs 51 points.  So lets say ODB get 25 and the kicker hits three field goals all 40 yard+ and that is 12 so that means Prince Amukamara needs to score 14 points for the win.  So probably hope for ODB to drop like 40 points.  Honestly I now want Pat to lose because I have Big Ben and De'Andre Hopkins in a much more profitable league.  This could change but I doubt it.

Let's take a look at next weeks semi-final match-ups.

Fingerblastin' W/JPP Vs. Eli's Mouthbreathers

I'm guessing a disappointing low-scoring affair for both teams.  There are a few teams you do not want to see when your players opponents come up and Denver and Carolina are these teams.  If Roberts gets production out of his RB's (Devonta Freeman) and Kreuz's match-ups at RB go the way they are supposed to Robert may win.  While Antonio Brown is held to just a little Brees has a great game at home and Robert's team does not get the insane amount of points out of players like Ginn and Crowell again in a narrow loss.  Kreuz goes to the Championship.

Pooty's New Virginity Vs. Suck a Ditka/Duster McThunderstick

Well as far as my team, I am confident I can win I just have a preference of opponent.  I have pretty good match-ups and I don't play any of the Denvers, Carolinas, or sometimes Seahawks of the NFL.  Rivers plays against Miami and we suck, but Rivers lacks receivers so I am not so sure he is a good match-up.  Outside of that Pat has just about DeAndre Hopkins and that is it.  Yeldon and Eifert are hurt, Duke Johnson plays Seattle, Big Ben plays Denver, ODB plays Carolina, and DGB plays New England...yeah I want to play Pat.  Nick on the other hand has Forte with a bad matchup, Olsen with an injury and bad players in his 3rd WR, and Hightower.  He does have Brady against Tennessee, so that is like 28 points.  If I can figure out a QB and get 10 or 12 out of them I think I win.  I go to championship and play Kreuz.

Championship Game

Way to early but from the look of it none of my teams are resting players or playing good defenses and Kreuz has some tough games for his RB's and TE, but he has Brees at home vs. the Jags and Antonio Brown vs. the Ravens, which are very nice.  Toss-up but I think I have the edge right now, barring injuries.