It has taken me a long time to realize that I apparently hate a lot of things. Like comedy shows for instance, anything with a laugh track I instantly think is for people who cannot do simple algebra or construct a sentence that will convey a message. This is why the laugh track is there. You hear the laughing and then your pitiful brain goes "oh shit time to laugh." The people on a laugh track even seem to not be laughing that hard. It is the most phony forced laugh I have ever heard. Fucking network television, besides Community of course, (well kind of now) is the Wyoming of comedy. Don't understand the comparison, go to Wyoming, it fucking sucks, their grass lacks color, the whole state looks like it caught on fire and nobody attempted to put it out.
The Big Bang Theory
This review will also cover Two and A Half Men because they are the same thing to me. I have actually seen both of these shows. Before I start watch this 6 minute video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DGiYRhvC0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASZ8Hks4gko
The second one is shorter but dear god how awkward was that. If I watched it with my girlfriend Boots she would probably cower and lock herself in the closet. It gave me the same feeling I get when watching an art house film...why the fuck is this happening. Please tell me what is funny about this. Let's go over the dialog.
Nerd 1: Boy do I have to urinate. (I am assuming this is supposed to be funny because he said urinate instead of pee)
Nerd 2: There is a solution to that. (A retort completely devoid of humor)
Nerd 1: I feel like I have a fish tank in my pelvis. (Who wrote this?)
Nerd 2: So go to the bathroom. (If this character only replies in non-humorous statements I would not be surprised)
I am not going over the rest because it must have been a dramatic episode...what? This show is never dramatic...then why...that is just how it is all the time...CBS is the devil. He won how many awards? The skinny tall nerd...for what, anyone could have done that.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2
Do you regularly watch Big Bang Theory? Have you seen Paul Blart: Mall Cop? Did you know that those questions are mutually exclusive. Every person that answers yet to the first question also answers yes to the second. From the trailer I viewed it seems that Kevin James schtick in this movie is "I'm fat and I run into things" also "I have a ridiculous amount of pride in being a Mall Cop." Kevin James is jumping on this train late, Melissa McCarthy has already cornered the "Fat and Uncoordinated" comedy market. You know how she did it? She added the word Fuck...among other curse words. I think I may actually watch this and then watch The Heat, i'll let you know what happens first suicide or laughter.
I have seen this trailer in a movie theater like 6 times. Whenever someone laughs at the trailer I get angry. I think they should make those trailers for profiling purposes. The minute someone laughs a government agent will take the person and humanely put them down outside the theater. That way we can work on the population problem in a concise and effective way.
Full House Netflix Series
Hey remember that show you used to watch and you loved it. Yeah, that was good wasn't it. Watch it again. Oh it sucks now. Yeah I mean that is the 90's for you. Guess what has gotten better since the 90's...literally everything...except maybe rap. That is what nostalgia does though, it makes you think things are great even though they now suck. Boots is watching Friends like crazy on Netflix. I used to enjoy Friends, now it is just alright. Take a show like Full House, which was not as good as Friends, watch it again. It is probably terrible. You know what the writers of these shitty 90's shows make now? Big Bang Theory and Two and A Half Men probably. How in the fuck did no one watch Community and Parks and Recreation but watch this horseshit. If this show is funny, I will blow myself. If it is not funny you have to give me a dollar. Give me a dollar.
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