If you have never seen people actual play Qudditch outside of the Harry Potter universe, you should. They actually use brooms and shit, they just crudely shove the brooms between their legs and then meander around holding a volleyball(Which is probably decorated like an actual Quidditch ball, never underestimate a nerd's ability to pay attention to detail), like Paris Hilton looking for a block of cheese in that maze that she is most likely stuck in right now. They also have the snitch which they promptly shove near their snatch or ass. That last sentence has a great ring to it. Someone runs around with the ball in between their legs while others try to grab it out with their hands. It is exactly as creepy as it sounds. The only thing that actually works with Quidditch when you cannot fly due to gravity and living in a non-fiction world is the three rings. Baseketball and Rollerball translate much better from shitty cinematic sports to actual sports. Back to lacrosse.
I have to teach Lacrosse in class though, blasphemy, I was far too poor during my early formative years and my school was far to urban (at or below 50% white people) to actually have lacrosse offered in my schooling career. So not only was my economic status not high enough, but I did not live in an area that was occupied by majestic fields that are mowed by full-time lawnists and sub-divisions that are ran like small dictatorships. Everything I know about lacrosse I learned from Blue Mountain State, so I also do not have the flow (hair) to play the sport. I know about as much about lacrosse as DJ Qualls knows about the inside of a gym. Luckily the internet exists and anything I want to know can be google searched. How the hell did students do assignments without the internet?
I enjoyed this. These people piss me off
ReplyDelete